Monthly Wrap Up: August 2025 - Quitting my job, burnout & recovery

August has been a transitional month. Transitions are painful sometimes...most times, maybe a little...every time?

They require something from you, and often when gifting you with new knowledge or new skills, are subliminal in their exchange. Only later do you realize what you were given.

For me there is a bittersweetness this month. Burnout, quitting my job and figuring out how to recover from not just work but the byproducts of my work.

9 to 5 - out the door:

I've spent the last 3 years in social work, the last 5 in crisis care and I am completely burnt out.

I've been thinking and dreaming about leaving this field for quite some time.

Planning what I'll do.

Scrapping it.

I've felt guilty for leaving, nearly every week (and scared, too), because what else can be impactful in the same, tangible way as providing basic needs to my fellow human?

But there are many ways to be impactful, to do something meaningful. And more importantly, it's not for me. At least not in this stage of life.

Most of the guilt is derived from this idea that if I have privilege (which I do, in many ways) but if I don't use that privilege to constantly talk about, expand on, or work for greater justice to my fellow people- then I am actually contributing to the problem at hand.

My 'impact' though seems to change size, though, depending on how I am talking about it. This is a mindset I am re-writing. One I am changing each day with self-talk and mental dissections of "what can I do that is meaningful?"

A major factor that contributed to my burnout was the lack of progress seen in the social work field. In fact, I would go on to say there has been major regression (primarily from a federal level) but also at a more local level. I struggled to see the positive change that was happening despite putting hours of emotional and mental labor into housing people, because I was fighting a system that is currently not built to provide sustainable housing and social nets for those in the margins of my community.

There is a lot to unpack there, and I'll spare you the vicious paragraphs. But burnout has taken its toll on me, and I finally said I'm done. I need to close this chapter and step into the next one.

Perhaps this very post is a sort of sendoff. A turning of that page.

Social work itself is a necessary and important job. It is an essential role in our community and one that often goes unacknowledged. Because who can keep track of what a case manager does, really?

It's one that has taught me to be more aware of my responsibility to those around me and the value of intentional decisions.

It's worth noting that I loved my job, the people I worked with and the fact I got to sit across from many young people who thought that no one saw them, and I could show them I did.

But the infostructure to sustain the depth and quality of this work, is rickety. It's ever evolving AND being deconstructed.

Burnout & Recovery:

What exactly IS burnout?

Burnout isn't just a fun word for saying you're over something. It also isn't as simple as being tired. As my friend on an hour-long phone call this month described his general cognitive demeanor, "I'm pre-tired."

Burnout is similar to chronic fatigue, in that your brain (and sometimes your body as a result) are constantly tired. Or "pre-tired".

Glutamate, the neurotransmitter that tells your neurons to fire, builds up in your pre-frontal cortex when you are burnt out. This (in less science-y terms) makes you tired when you think. It can slow your thinking, your decision making, your motivation, and your interest and ability to learn.

Since quitting my job (with no plan on where I am going next), I have constructed a 6-month plan for recovering from burnout.

Much of it is acknowledging my mindset and asking myself is this productive to think about? Does this bring me joy?

But there are also more specific goals that I want to get back to. Goals that I set at the beginning of this year that were pushed to the side when I became overwhelmed by my work.

1) Create more than I consume

As Matthew McConnaughey's mom says in the beginning of his book 'Greenlights' (which I am re-reading currently), "If you like it and you understand it, and it means something to you, it's yours." She's talking about a poem that she is encouraging him to pen as his own, despite it not being his. And while I do not condone plagiarism (and neither did McConnaughy in this story) the idea that a phrase or a mantra or a poem must be original to you to be yours is faulty-that's something I can get behind.

Creating more than I consume is very difficult in a world where our social media, our news, our entertainment and food, our fashion, our literature, our jobs and transportation are all built on the idea of consumerism.

But I am attempting to create (to write, to paint, to make a collage or draw out an idea) more than I consume.

This week I made a Vision Board (my third in the last three years).

If you notice, I actually made it onto my own vision board. Now if that isn't manifesting the life you want to live, idk what it is!

2) Be intentional about WHAT I consume, selective about my media

The second half of that goal is to be intentional with what I consume. In the book, 'the Creative Act', Rick Rubin talks about "Tuning In" and "Practice"- beginning concepts for a budding artist. I interpret this as a sort of curation. In a world (digital and natural and social) full of options, so full it's bubbling over with them and drowning the majority into a sort of paralysis, similar to insects when they are put in water, we must curate our experience. In fact, curation is becoming a POPULAR thing-I say this because it will continue to trend upwards as a monetizable exercise. But I am speaking about it as a personal exercise.

Negativity and formatted paths and regurgitated algorithms exist everywhere I look. I can look just about anything up, most of us can if we type key words into a search engine. But I do not retrain much. I don't think most of us do.

I want to be intentional about what I consume. I want to LEARN something because I am curious about it, not just because it popped up on my FYP.

I see adults taking to creating curriculums for themselves and I love this. Loaning books from the library to learn more about trees or autoimmune diseases.

A girl I follow posts her weekly media consumption (articles she's read, ted-talks she's listened to, podcasts she found interesting) and I love this. It isn't often we start conversations anymore with: "So what have you read, lately, that's interesting?"

KC and I were just discussing our Egyptian and Ocean phases. As kids, we both went to our libraries and sought out the DK books on Ancient Egypt and Under Ocean Mysteries. I went through such a strong sunken ship phase. So much so I begged my mom to let me paint my bedroom blue and decorate like a sunken ship...

But that childhood curiosity about science and history, that is missing from my media consumption and I'm on a mission to get it back.

3) Seek out more ORANGE moments

Orange is my favorite color. In case you can't tell, much my digital presence recently is centered around the color. Marmalade orange, specifically. Orange is a bright and energetic color. It's warm, welcoming, and passionate-though perhaps not as passionate as red or as a bright and cheery as yellow.

Orange is, to me, a color that reflects self-confidence and camaraderie. Orange moments are times when you feel both safe and sound. In your relationships, in your beliefs, in your community. It's not the showstopper than red can be, nor is it as light and airy as yellow. Orange moments are ones where you feel, or you make those around you feel confident & seen.

4) Set strong boundaries about caring for my body

It's no surprise working a 9 to 5 takes a toll on your body. In undergrad I wrote a paper on the increase in mortality rates based on the time people sit. Sitting for more than 7.5 hours a day increases your risk of pre-mature death. (That's a very broad paraphrase-the actual breakdown is that sitting this long a day increases your likelihood of dying from 8 of the 10 top deaths-think CVD, cancer, suicide, kidney disease, COPD, etc., sooner than those in the control group who would not have sat as long).

Even with a standing desk, even as a very active person prior to my job, I have physically declined. AND I'M YOUNG! My body is a physical representation of my capability (though this is also a mindset I am working through because our bodies do not equal our capabilities as a person). But while I have the means and health, I want to care for my body in the way it needs. This means more exercise, more standing and walking, more activity in general.

It's hard to set boundaries with this. People think those who are too disciplined with their bodies are self-obsessed or egotistical, but once you push yourself to a point where you see the strength you've gained or the cardio-vascular endurance or even just the energy and self-esteem, it changes from a desire to a necessity.

I want to be climbing waterfalls in my 40s and 50s, I want to be swimming until I'm dead, I want to run a race and be able to bend down to tie my shoes in my old age. This is not too much to ask for, but it is sad that many of our office jobs are so taxing on my bodies and minds while disguised as something "cushy" or "desired".

Yes, it's been a difficult month. So much has happened and yet I know so much more will happen in the coming months. I am excited to continue to explore, to learn more about myself and the world around. I am excited to get back into writing (both on here and my manuscript).

Goodbye August, Hello September.